''Silent dreams'' - 07.2014

"This world is but a canvas to our imagination." - Henry David Thoreau

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Today I will not go on a rant about some random thing... I'll not go on a rant at all.

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The following painting is currently on display at Christ Church, Oxford.

It was a birthday present for my dear friend Henry. 

Not Henry Thoreau, 

Henry Rodriguez-Broadbent or the ''guy who does maths at Oxford''.

He's also the guy who's ruined my life and convinced me that doing a maths degree was a great decision. yh right. 

I mean, who would want to do calculus for 4 years? 

Well, to be honest, I'm exaggerating, I'm actually looking forward to it :')

Come on September, hurry up.

As always Artists' oil paints from Winsor and Newton on a strange size canvas (about 6" x 12")

"Silent Dreams"

Lots of Love,

Marlena 

Drumlane Abbey, Cavan - 24.11.2014

Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you? Why have you gone away...?

[listen]

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Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. Amazing time of the year. Usually. This year I feel like someone stole Christmas from me... Every year I start my Christmas preparations a month in advance and just spend the month searching for presents and writing cards.. This year however I had to rush everything, didn't write any cards and my presents weren't as thoughtful as usually.
Why? well... the answer is simple. I got a job. 

During the Christmas period we spend so much time worrying about money and our jobs. In all that hassle of everyday worries and problems we fail to truly experience Christmas. 
Christmas Day has become the most stressful day of the year for because everything has to ready and perfect even though we're spending it with our families. 
Christmas has been so commercialised that it is more about the presents and showing off than it is about having quality family time. Christmas itself has become purely a day focused on money.

I doubt that I'll get a Christmas job next year because this year it has simply robbed me instead of giving me something (except for money of course). On Christmas Day I was too exhausted to enjoy it. I literally fell asleep.

Christmas huh .. 

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Here's one of my latest paintings. It was created for the man with whom I have spent my Christmas this year.
It was a gift for his 19th birthday and it took me exactly 19 hours (which was of course a coincidence) :)

It's a painting of Drumlane Abbey, Cavan - a place where his Grandparents are buried. I wasn't just being creepy - he asked me for a painting of that place ages ago :)


Here is it:

Painted using artists' oil paints from Winston and Newton on a 18"x14" canvas, also from Winston and Newton.

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas :) !!!



Lots of Love,
Marlena x 

''Destiny'' - 06.07.2014

"The only time I feel alive is when I’m painting" 

- Vincent van Gogh

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Why do people paint?

Some paint to get rid of the excess of creative energy, others paint because they want to recreate a famous painting or want to paint like some famous artist; some people paint because they have always done it, since they can remember, they've always been painting; some are forced by their parents and others just want to make some money. There are also people who just like to be creative, they like to make something new, something unique, something that represents their emotions and state of mind.


Unless you're ready to make mistakes and learn how to work with, not against them, don't try to make art. In art, mistakes are a crucial part of the process, just like in life, we learn from mistakes and try to use them to our advantage.
I believe that everybody starts their life as an artist. Not necessarily a painter, but as an artist of some sort.
Some people try writing songs, creating melodies, singing in a jazzy way others try painting, sketching, sculpting and drawing, but most of them give up on it because they believe their passion is just a silly phase, just a childish dream which will never have a permanent place in their life. 

Many people give up on their dreams simply because the society tells them to do so as it's become more acceptable to live a life with no dreams, passion and happiness, but with money, than it us to live a fulfilling one while being poor.
Slowly people are turning into robot-like creatures that live in order to make money they believe they need in order to live. They fall into a never ending cycle. It's sad that money is such an important aspect of our lives.
It's so important that people choose to abandon  their dreams in order to make more and more and even more money. I don't want to live like that. I'd rather be poor and happy, than rich and stuck in a job I hate.
What's the point of life? Isn't it to be happy...? 

Henry Miller in his book [''To love is to paint again''] said that ''poverty is one of the misfortunes people seem to dread even more than sickness''. How strange is that? Surprising? Not necessarily. The main criterion for a ''happy'' life is money. People will not classify your life as complete if you don't reach a certain salary level. How awful is that? People are more scared of being poor than they are of being sick...
The weird thing is that you can't even get water... or food... without money. Money became more crucial to our survival.... than water.

Dreams don't matter anymore... being an artist doesn't matter anymore... then what does matter? money? yes... for some people... 
Money is a crazy invention... It's supposed to give people freedom, but instead it enslaves them.

I don't want to turn my hobby into a job. I don't want others to control my passion. If I did turn this into a job, I would have to start taking commissions, which would mean that I wouldn't be able to paint what I want. 

I paint to keep myself calm, relaxed and happy. I love seeing progress in my paintings... My style changed so much this year.. the first proper oil painting I ever created was in February 2014. And it looks completely different when compared with my other ones. And that's what keeps me going; trying new techniques makes it exciting for me... My dream is to exhibit my work in a gallery, but I doubt I'll ever get there, because if I did, then I'd always be trying to take the paintings off the walls and change something in them :')

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Here's something I created today :)

It's called ''Destiny''. A bit unrelated to the essay above, but that's the name I find the most fitting for a painting of the sea.

As always oil paints from Winsor and Newton (Artist's range) on a 18"x14" canvas.

Lots of Love,

Marlena 

Soul Mates - 27.05.2014

''A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing'' - George Bernard Shaw

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Today I wanted to talk about love... Many people have no idea what love is and neither do I, because everybody has their own definition of love. So I'll just describe it the way I think is correct. For some people love is when they feel like they need to spend a lot of time with somebody, for others love is when the person they're with cares about them and gives them attention. 

 Some people think they're in love when they feel happy around another person, but the truth is, a lot of people make us happy; our friends make us happy, our parents usually make us happy, even our pets make us happy. Does that mean we love them? We do, but in a different way. It's not necessary a romantic love. And that's the type of love I want to talk about today.

I love my friends and I'm very grateful to have them. I also love my family. And I even love my cats... but romantic love is something entirely different. 

In order to be happy in a relationship you have to be ready to be in one. You can't go into a relationship thinking the other person will cure you of your low self-esteem, or they'll help you love yourself.

They simply can't do that. You need to know how to love yourself in order to know how to love another human being.

You'll never appreciate their love if all you want is affection and compliments. You have to give something in return. Sure, receiving is important, but what's more important is communication and mutual respect. People who think they're not good enough to be loved desperately look for somebody to love them and they end up in toxic relationships, where they're either the only ones giving, or they're the only ones receiving. Either way it's not a good relationship. There has to be a balance.

People who aren't ready to be in a relationship will think they have nothing valuable to give the other person because they think they're not worthy of their love, so they end up giving them their everything, which in the end destroys them or they end up taking everything the other person gives which destroys the other person.

I don't believe in the idea of soul mates. Well I do, people who just get on with each other unbelievably well do exist, but that doesn't mean that we should spend our lives looking for our soul mate. Sometimes working through difficulties in a relationship makes us value it more. Nearly every couple can work through their differences, as long as they both keep on trying.

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I'll look like a bit of a hypocrite now, since my newest painting is called ''Soul mates''. I felt like the name is fitting because it shows two waterfalls that exist together in harmony. Behind them is a larger body of water. When I was painting it I wanted to show that they're a part of something bigger, they're together, in one painting, but they're not dependant on one another. If one of them stops, the other waterfall can keep going. Yes, I know, I'm making myself sound crazy... but what can I do :D

The song of the week is Set me on fire - Bella Ferraro because it's what I was listening to while I was painting :)

So......  ''Soul Mates''

It's as always done using Winsor and Newton's paints. 

It's a black and white painting, from my ''Mars Black'' series. The second photo was taken with a flash and I just love the way it looks so I decided to publish it as well :)

Lots of Love,

Marlena 

Uncomfortable Conscience - 23.05.2014

A couple of days ago I was talking to someone about nature and I realised how disgusting London actually is. I always thought that it was a beautiful city with a lot of parks and with a lot of trees, but it actually isn't.
I was walking home after choir last Friday and I thought I'd check how long I have to walk for before I see a tree.. and it was 20 minutes!  I was really surprised.. I thought we had more trees than that.. but I guess that because there aren't so many of them we notice them more than we would have if there were more of them. 

I love nature and I'm really surprised how blind I was for all those years.... I mean, you don't really get to see stars in the sky due to light pollution... I knew that was the case because whenever I went to Poland the sky looked so much nicer there.. but I didn't actually think about it...

We live in a world where money is the only thing that matters... Dreams don't matter anymore.. those who dream are regarded as immature and crazy.. but what's the point of living if you have no dreams? For money...? Are you going to buy yourself some happiness? Are you going to go to a shop and buy a family? a dream? love...? no. What are you going to do with all the money you're earning? 

Dreams are like trees. They keep us alive. We should treasure them and keep them alive.

Being successful today means having a well paid job and no time for life. If that's what it is, then screw it. I don't want to be successful anymore. I'd rather be happy, fulfilled and ''crazy''. 

Some people think they can earn some money now and then be happy later when they're finally able to follow their dreams.. but what if you die next year? or next month? or tomorrow? You would have lived a life without actually being alive for a single day.

People are so blinded by money that they don't notice the problems we face everyday. We're killing animals... all the time.. due to pollution. And nobody seems to care... People don't talk to eachother anymore.. it's all become virtual.. some people prefer their virtual lives to their real ones... they can be whoever they want online.. but why can't they be whoever they want in real life? It doesn't take that much to face your fears, leave your comfort zone, change your personality.. Your friends need you. A conversation online is not the same as a real conversation. Some people are unable to talk to other if they're face to face. Talking online is easier, alright, but it shouldn't be a substitute for a real conversation. I hate it when I see couples who are supposedly together, but they actually aren't because they're constantly on their phones while they're with one another, living their second lives..

People used to live peacefully, surrounded by nature and now people try to destroy it because they can't generate an income out of a tree, so it's better to build an ice cream shop in a park and get some money out of it than it is to plant more trees there.. 

I feel sorry for future generations... some kids will never see a real tree... there's this thing called global warming and everyone's panicking about it, but not many people actually do anything about it. Money money money.

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ah... okay. so there is no new painting for this weeks entry, because I'm really busy recently. Yesterday I really wanted to paint something but I only had one hour so I decided to try something new. I took a piece of A4 paper, some black acrylic paint and set myself a challenge. I was supposed to paint a picture using just one colour and water. This means that I had to plan it out carefully in my mind because I wouldn't be able to fix it with white paint like I usually do :D

It looks a bit like an ink drawing but it was done using acrylic paint (Mars Black) from....... Winsor and Newton as always haha  :)


Here's the outcome of my exercise:

It's not really a proper painting, but it has a name nonetheless haha :)

It's called ''Uncomfortable Conscience''  

Lost of Love,
Marlena